Favors from another man, is that Okay?

Okay, when is being nice a set up for something much more?

I just wrote a blog about my ex-wife borrowing a co-worker’s car. The co-worker was a male. How do  you feel about your wife/husband, girlfriend/boyfriend borrowing a car from a the opposite sex co-worker? Is that cool? What about borrowing money?

I have a big problem with that. It is NOT about pride. It is about protecting the integrity of the relationship and letting people know that there our boundaries set in this marriage. If my wife has to go to another man for help with anything, it is showing a pathway in for another man. If my wife asks another man to borrow $200, the other man is going to think, “her husband is not taking care of business at home, if she sees me as a provide, then maybe I can ‘sneak’ my way in.” Sneak my way in does not necessarily mean that this man wants a relationship, it just may mean he just wants sex. But he would view this act of asking for money as a weakness, even if he doesn’t give her the money. He know knows that things may be in distress at home and she is reaching out for help and she may be vulnerable.

The other man might say “her husband ain’t she, she be riding around in my car, he can’t even get a car for her, that is my chick, he don’t have no money, she asking me for money!”

In the marriage vows it says “richer or for poorer,” that means when you go through hard times, you still stick it out through thick and thin. God forbid that I would ever lose everything and be homeless, car-less, or on the bus trying to get my life together, but no matter how bad things got financially, my wife should be there right with me.

I know what you are saying, borrowing another man’s car isn’t that bad. But what is the message that it is sending the that other man and what message is the wife sending to the husband?